There is so much at my fingertips to write today, but I am going to take some time to soak in God’s goodness. I am going to choose to go out in the rain today with no umbrella and dance in the rain because as tears have rolled down my face numerous times today, Lord I am listening.
I have been in some conversations with so many people the past week that have been confirmation to “this is the way, walk in it” its not even funny. What I thought as a year I wasted last year a bit, it was needed to get me through to what this year will hold. Mom, I hold your story in my heart. This heart has become an open book and I guard it with passion. These stories will reach others, lives will be changed, and a year that seemed like I floated through, no more floating. No one can tell you how long it will take to grieve, but do it when you need to. Heck, I am still grieving, but God is saying, “I need you to move”. I am stretching out my hand and allowing God to lead the way. I am going to do in scared, afraid, uncertain, knowing that He has a plan.
When he said in Jeremiah 29:11-14
“For I know the plans I have for you….Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me and when you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you”, Declares the Lord, “and bring you back from captivity”
THAT IS TRUTH!!!!! It has come full circle and coming to pass in my life right now because I believed it. Right now he is bringing me back from captivity – an area where I struggled like crazy, said numerous times, “I am just not the same”, ‘I am not ‘here'” but I kept fighting and never gave up knowing that God had a plan for my life. In the midst of the struggle, I did loose focus on Him. It felt like I couldn’t find that inspiration that I used to be able to just spit out at people from the tip of my tongue. It felt like I wasn’t reaching out to others and encouraging them – Something that was my passion and something that I LOVED to do, was a struggle!!!!
But here I am. He took me as I was and I started to seek him. He gave me the desire to seek his face and to surrender. And I found Him.